vendredi 9 août 2013

The healing process , Acceptance or Denial ?

Did you ever met someone , loved him so much , that couldnt understand the meaning of your life without him ?

May be at the begining you try everything to get him back , cause women are more tied to relationships than men .Men can be secretive and so closed . Men tries to prove their strenght , in general , they took much more time , to call back or to find a way to make up . Girls just whine and cry , and curse , promising that she will never talk to her ex ever again, but the very next minute , she calls him . girls are really weird .

Sometimes we meet someone and we just know: it's love.

However, it isn't always easy to see the wonderful qualities in people right there in front of us. They may need a little push to realize that maybe they love you too. Remember that there is no way to make someone fall in love with you and that you wouldn't want a love that was forced anyway. so for those guys of "love from one side" , you are much better than that , you need to love yourself before waiting others to love you , and i dont think that a human being that loves himself gonna accept so much pain in silence .

lets imagine that two people who were so much inlove broke up , the way that people deal with the break up differs from a person to another . the commun example is that girls cry and fell pain for two weeks or 3 months , listening to sad song , talking to their best friends about how it possibly gets wrong , again and again and again until everyone is fed up with the same story ! yes very annoying !

guys have this way of moving on the next day , partying , going out with friends , starting to go to the gym , i mean they wanna prove that they are macho's and a girl isnt the end of the world ! but lets get to the funny part : after those 3 months of wining , girls start to go out in real dates and they might find intersting guys ! Men ,after 3 good months ,they start to remember everything good in their ex's , and yes they feel pain too , and they get really upset when they found out that she is with another guy " that bitch is sooo fast , i was right to dump her"

well , if you dont treat your woman right , there is always someone else willing to do it in your place .

to sum up , the girl attitude after a break up is like "just give me a reason" pink's song .

How the guy was a scammer , cheater , liar and leads her to believe that he loves her and want her,  smtg like the song first verse :
Right from the start

You were a thief you stole my heart

And I your willing victim

I let you see the parts of me

That weren't all that pretty

And with every touch you fixed them

Now you've been talking in your sleep

Things you never say to me

Tell me that you've had enough

Of our love, our love

Men have this other song , to explain their attitude the first week of the break up ,denial makes way to a rush of emotion ,like they are telling their friends and themeselves : there is no need to feel bad , like R.E.M song "the one i love" no lyrics just emotions that needs to fade away :

This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I've left behind
A simple prop to occupy my time
This one goes out to the one I love
Fire (she's comin' down on her own, now)

Then , after a while few days or months , the guy nostalgic mood makes him look for news , the surprise is when he found out that his girl is with someone else #deepshit . He is angry and upset , but he cant do anything , guys are not like girls , they wont ask you back if you are belonging to someone else  #the brocode  ... for further explanations listen to Bruno Mars song "when i was your man" , and it goes like this :

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like uh, uh, uh, uh

Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

At the end , healing process is different from one person to another , it depends on different factors : level of love , level of emotions , personality , the story of the couple ...some can forget and move on , and choose to be with other persons , some find it difficult to just forget , so they just deny the whole thing , and learn to live with the sorrow , day by day . 

Realizing that someone who once loved you loves you no longer is like getting the measles: go through it when you're young, and you'll probably get a mild case.

If it happens for the first time when you're older, it can be devastating.

It can be fatal.

Imagine that he's the first one you ever fell for; he might not have been the first one to kiss you, but his was the first kiss to matter. You can still taste it. You remember the shock, and the softness, and the lingering of his mouth on yours. It was the first time you ever thought: "I want to keep this. This is mine."

He loves you. You can hardly believe it. He sends you little notes where he writes your name over and over again. He calls you first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Words, rolling dark as waves at midnight, wash over you; his voice is heavy and slow as he tells you that you alone understand, that you are the only one.

You can't believe it. You try to resist, not having been born yesterday, but it takes all of an instant for you to be swept off your feet. Swept off your feet, you lose all control over where you're going. Not that it matters. The undertow pulls out the ground away and you drown. Willingly, entirely, without a last gasp or a hand raised to save yourself, you drown.

You go forward. You must. Even if you don't know where you are headed.

Like emerging from out of a bottomless sea or waking from a long illness, nothing is the same. Landmarks are different. You orient yourself along new lines. Maps or medicines, proffered by kind hands, might not be useful but you know they are important.

You accept them with thanks, and understand that such gestures matter.

Things start to matter. They always did. Now you remember.

Now you know you knew it all along.

just try to find your pain , life is short , you need to smile as much you cry ! find reasons to be happy , cause you deserve it .

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