vendredi 17 août 2012

Anger , Pain And Perfect Breakup

It is weird that we end up loving someone, then asking ourselves , why our heart chooses him among all those 6 billions person living on earth ? It is a strange chemical combinaison that makes our mind completely without reason  . It makes our heart wanting to jump out off our chest . It makes us simply CRAZY.

when you get to know that person you are attracted  too , you notice all those details thats others dont  seem to appreciate. Details may seem to others normal , but for you, its the ultime response to the aim of your existence in the world. Suddenly , there, with him you feel like life make sens and you cant feel more happy or secure or warm or just be you . you feel loved and appreciated for yourself . you feel fullfiled . you feel complete .

In his arms ;the arms of the only one that gonna take you in a trip from heaven to hell in 10 seconds , because some stupide girl talk to him ; you gonna explore the real weather of the four seasons , get confused that he forgot to call (autumn), cry all night cause you broke up (winter), go in a romantic date and talk all day long ( spring) , act crazy and enjoy being together (summer). 

when you guys are feeling good together you'll be on the 9th cloud , and when there is some problems and misunderstanding, hell you'll be in the center of  earth . Do you know what's at the earth's  inner core? Molten lava? Rock? Hell? Someone told me no one knows for sure, Only those who've been brokenhearted . They know what it felt like " the end of the world"  "apocalypse" "2012" ...

 Then when you are in your room, at 4am , your eyes exploring your roof for the first time . Impossible to explain why you dont feel bored being with someone 7 days a week 12 hours a day .why is it impossible to see their flaws and all ?All you can remember is the good times ... riding in the car ...kisses behind the ear ...funny faces...breakfast and lunch... hand massages ...hundred of sms's .... lots of " i love you too" ...the most warm cuddle in the whole universe ,that one making you feel born again ...sunset's...forest...beach ...and all the places that make you feel home sick when you are not together anymore ...a horrible home sick cause he was your home ...he was everything .

 The most awful part is to really believe that it is over , too hard to accept. This is the person that you promiss to love until the end of days . This is the father of your unborn children ,this is the guy who will paint the red wall  in your perfect bedroom . All the dreams are vanished ...mother earth is calling you , to tell you he goes out with other girls , and he is no longer your man , and that you must seriously wake up , you must move on . He stopped sharing and you are not  a part of his life anymore , he makes his statements confidential , he tried to put it that way ,he made up his mind, he is showing them only to people he cares about, may be he preferes not to hurt you , but even if you are not suppose to see them , you ll see them , because you need a thousand pinch , a thousand clap , a thousand bullet , a thousand wreck , so you can understand he is not here anymore and you must forget him.

After all , I am the most desperate romantic brain and the most sad pathetic crushed heart ..that human being knows for the moment . i can't help it , ruined by million of books , movies ,and fairytales . Love is my way , to know it is to live it .

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