Still Love you actually

For now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Ramadan - And at Ramadan you tell the truth ,  at Ramadan you act with honesty , you purify your soul , you reflect a good Muslim attitude : To me, he is  perfect - And my wasted heart will love him - Until the day my heart will stop beating . I love him and i can't imagine myself with anyone else .

BECAUSE
He
May be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
He
May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

He
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
He may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
He may not be what he may seem
Inside her shell

He
Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
He
May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

He
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years
Me
I'll take his laughter and his tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where he goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is

He
He, oh he

YOLO : you only love once

They said that love changes over the time , scientifically it last 3 years , either you refresh it and it continues on new bases as you keep falling in love all over again , or people just lose interest in their love ones .
I believe that we can only fall in love once. I don't know, maybe I am just a little naive cause I am still young, but I really do think that you can only fall in love one time. Love is such a special thing, and if you can fall in love more than 10 times then what is so special about it?
So do you believe we can only fall in love once or more than once?
And What happens if the person you love stops loving you? love is sweet , love is bitter , love is generous , love is possessive,love come with pain ,it could be a bit challenging to read for someone who had, for one reason or another, their love rejected, or lost their loved one. Life and relationships are complex. If you don't have the ability to be resilient and to pick up the pieces and start over again, you may find life to be a pretty harsh and unforgiving place.
All that said, if you are one of the lucky ones, be grateful. And if you are not, be grateful anyways for the ability to reset the love meter.
but i still think that you only love once and all the others are just alternatives , to fill the empty spaces .
I still think that your heart beats only for one person , you love him with all his flaws , you consider everything as a bliss even the wrong and bad ones , you just appreciate every gesture even a bedtime story , love every expression even the silence, you adore his eyes glance , his mouth movement , his body allure ,his halo catch your breath , and his voice chill your ears , you just love him more than what you normally can handle, more than the pain ,the distance , even while you are rejected you ears don't hear "I don't love you no more" your mind don't accept it , and your heart would never believe it . you just feel like a flower discovered in the middle of some garden, bored , then someone picked you , you , not another flower , just you , you felt special, proud, you are the princess of his heart , he will put you in the vase of his heart , you feel like home between his hands, you are happy  as long as you are perfuming his air. you were blindly happy , you couldn't see the truth , you've been consumed every day ,and with every sunrise of happiness , there was a night of fears and darkness , you died more every day passing , you were like a fool  thinking that someday you'll be sealed forever in the wonderland of your prince charming . there was no wonderland , not even a magic one , the land was so dry that your flower would never blossom there .
I know that I'm dramatizing the rejection , but it can be so sad and painful, because the flower would even change her color , her perfume , her nature , love can make wonders , it makes people mutate , it can make u an alien if your love is a spaceship , it can make you a bird , if your love is the wings . when you lose something that matters to you that much , you feel like you lost a part of you , like your soul want to leave your body , you feel so weird and lonely inside . Just have some faith , life can't be that much worse , you felt love real love , some people will never know what it feels like to lose your mind for someone , to fight sleep over late phone calls  at least  you felt that you belonged to someone someday , you just found what can complete your existence , what make sense and have meaning to your existence , just be happy and grateful that someday you felt like you are inside your mother again while you were in their arms, that great warm safe feeling , that if they ask you to write what do you like about that person , you'll write one word "everything"...love is so weird , if it doesn't kill you it changes you , and if not meant to be , don't cry  it just that the time of your happy ending didn't come yet  . Stay strong , have faith , keep your pride cause you deserve the best .

There is no winning! Only degrees of losing!

There are two dilemmas... that rattle the human skull. How do you hold onto someone who won't stay?( my case) And how do you get rid of someone who won't go( his case)?
the whole situation was super ugly for both of us , cause it was never a win win situation its was a lost lost situation , and the time we invest to hurt each other me with my OAG meme , a weird stalker, jealous, or committed to MY love  to an unhealthy degree, him with his cold attitude , black cloud on his head , unfaithfulness. i was loosing myself trying to get back in his life at any price , my efforts pushed you over .you were sure of you trying to cut off totally with me .the breakup was as traumatic as i can never describe ;there was lots of crying and begging pleading, but his cold attitude , serious statements , and the unbearable " I don't love you no more"   put a great wound there before a true love can forgive. It'd be different if the breakup was mutual and you we sat down like adults and realized we needed to go your separate ways, but that didn't happen likewise. 
i went through the pleading and begging and trying to make him understand how lovely it would be for us to be together , anyways i thought that we had this great love  that gonna make us go through everything
. He seem to be suddenly cold ,distant ,unwilling to continue the journey.
I disappeared. of course there was no place for me to stand there at all. i deleted his facebook not for getting attention but for my own sake not to check on him. I wish we could be friends. i like him too much to be friends. but i just feel i lost my best-friend . butwecant be friends anymore !what  an odd idea!! .i couldn't keep up with his disappearance and re-appearence since,and he couldn't keep up with my mood swings and my drama queen attitude . it ended so lame for both of us ... from prince charming to smashing my heart , ndI from cute kind funny babe to an OMG / bitch /liar/ I never knew what he thinks about me he sucks at confrontation , He was just a natural screw up. He wasn’t willing to change for anyone, in fact I don’t think he’s capable of changing because he’s just demotivated and lazy in every aspect of his life. Disappointment in any kind of engagement he will take. The only relationship he fares good in is his friendship with his guy friends. Definitely loyal and go out his way for them.
Anyway,  I have a crappy social life,busy schedule, which means I think of him during down time. My friends think that he is truly remorseful the way things ended between him and I, and that he just doesn’t know how to make it up to me. some of them think I'm better without him . I just think that i lost a part of me.
I just wonder if he would ever contact me to tell me I miss you etc. At this point I want to know if I was even a factor in his life, that he would miss me SOMEDAY. even if he misses me ill be damned if i ever talk to him again, I just imagine that someday he will meet me , ill be pregnant , he gonna wish if he was my baby's father , i will see the regret in his eyes someday , anyway ill name my baby boy on him .

She got Valentine-sickness

I hate to admit that she was wrong this past months , she was feeling upset about silly things forgetting the power of the great God . She was protected ,  God is saving her from unworthiness , some special unknown forces just wants the best things for her.

Nobody can blame her, she was in love ,she wasn't able to understand her failure in a reasonable way , she couldn't accept the final goodbye

Love is addictive:

She just wanted to see the person she love, everyday ,every hour ,every minute, every second , she was haunted by his smell , mmm his smell makes her feel comfortable .Who can call her wrong ,well she just wanted to meet him and be in his arms , he was her sin , he was her atonement , he was her sickness , he was her healing process.

Love for her was "Pure, raw, explosive pleasure! Better than drugs, better than smack! Better than a dope-coke-crack-fix-shit-shoot-sniff-ganja-marijuana-blotter-acid-ecstasy! Better than sex, head, 69, orgies, masturbation, tantrism, Kama Sutra or Thai doggy-style! Better than banana milkshakes! Better than George Lucas's trilogy, the muppets and 2001! Better than Emma Peel, Marilyn, Lara Croft and Cindy Crawford's beauty mark! Better than the B-side to Abbey Road, Jimmy Hendrix and the first man on the moon! Space Mountain, Santa Claus, Bill Gates' fortune, the Dalai Lama, Lazarus raised from the dead! Schwarzenegger's testosterone shots, Pam Anderson's lips! Woodstock, raves... Better than Sade, Rimbaud, Morrison and Castaneda! Better than freedom, better than life!"(A QUOTE from love me if you dare MOVIE)

Love is obsessive:

Sometimes you just lose yourself , you cant communicate with your deepest sides , you try to hide your emotions , and after a while you believe your own lies .

To be a very emotional person doesn't reflect your weakness , it is just showing the degree of your commitment ,so don't care about those who are leaving , and don't care about rejections , don't go after people who cant valuate you and feel your importance in their life, but she was love-blinded.

She was acting like a fool , begging him , trying to get him . He just deosnt want you in his life anymore !! may be he found someone else , stop looking for him , stop chasing him doll , he is gone baby , gooone . 

Love is prone to recklessness:

I know you are crying and it tears you up inside , I know you are going crazy , your stomach ties up in knots while you count the seconds waiting for him to call , may be he still loves you. . . you hear a loud buzzing in your ears when you see a certain person's car (or one just like it), your looking for him anywhere , he will see you on the street and he will stop ,asking you to go in ride and you will kiss like old days , wake up honey don't do that to yourself , stay strong . . . I know that your eyes burn when you hear a random love song or see a couple holding hands and valentines makes you sick but you gotta move on. . .don't go near to his house ,he is not there he start dating other girls ,stop feeling like you're worthless and that he is the only reason for you existence , cause he doesn't feel the same about you , he let you go easily...life can be a bitch but it doesn't stop for nobody ..carry on you can do it.


“Of course, you never really forget anyone, but you certainly release them. You stop allowing their history to have any meaning for you today. You let them change their haircut, let them move, let them fall in love again. And when you see this person you have let go, you realize that there is no reason to be sad. The person you knew exists somewhere, but you are separated by too much time to reach them again.”

― Chelsea Fagan



Love hurts 

She just couldn't let it go for too long , cause she couldn't imagine to change anything , she was really seeking to make things as perfect as before . but it needs two to do the job ,you don't try to save something willing to die .

It is so stupid and crazy , trying to insist to talk to someone and make him see you , you deserve better honey !!! when someone loves you he just wanna be with you , you don't need to invite him .

It is so stupid feeling that you can start the 3rd world war just to not see him with another girl ! But when he decided to leave , he is fine  dating other girls , may be he is kissing one of them  right now, he is happy  fooling around, he feels like superman ,something changed about him , he doesn't look at you in your eyes  with that same feelings ,loving you from his bones,that person died or abducted and his spirit is possessed  , you can't let him come back !

She was honest , and I'm sure she will find a better one , what comes around goes around , he will be hurt someday , he will regret passing by someone who loved him without condition and all what she wants is to be with him, simply be with him !! I guess to be loved that way was too much for him , he might be the kind of a one night stand  .

yes baby you have patterns of valentine sickness because your first love , your only love isn't here with you , so just say : GOODBYE .

And thats why you should leave ...

I was inspired from several stories to write this article , stories about guys who take their girls for granted ,and it makes me wonder why girls should wait for them to change or to make a serious move ?

I wil start with a quote by Mike Litman , explainig how time wont wait for anybody :













As you're reading this, your life's getting shorter. Its ticking away. I'm not saying this to frighten you. Or even scare you. Though it may. I'm saying this to awaken you. To inspire you. To rise you out of your deep slumber. To really know you wont live forever. To share your unique gifts. To ignite your great inner fire. To ignite your great inner strength. To ignite your great inner light. To shine. Brightly shine. To awaken your great inner beauty. To motivate. Yourself and others. To love. Yourself and others. To paint. To write. To teach. To innovate. To sing. To dance. To care. To feel. To listen. To learn. To laugh. The clocks ticking. The world needs you. Make your move.


Yes eventually Time wont wait for you , so dont wait for anybody , cause if that somebody loves you he wont make you wait , he will want to share everything with you .

Why girls accept

callousness, narcissism, impulsivity and other antisocial traits in a guy . Why they keep creating all kind of excuses for him ! I know hundred of girls that would ignore every advice giving by her bestfriends , go blind about real facts seen by others , just to be with the guy she loves !
I find it stupide to be the only one who compromises in the relationship ! It should be a mutual relation with two sides ,two people, who care for each other , and exchange everything , even more SHARE everything , find a mutual solution that help both of them ! why you should be the only one who sacrifices , trying fix this and that ! who runs the world ? Dont you think is girls. so step aside and follow the great women that make a change dont be that sad girl in the corner in the pourring rain , crying !!!! do you remember Adele's both album's 19 and 21, and her huge heartbreak that make her write the most beautiful songs in this century??!! she kept falling for a guy who didnt appreciate her ! she kept wining and waiting until he broke her good heart . Of course , every experience has its fruits , you will definitely learn from pain and struggles , at least it makes u stronger . If she didnt move on the way she did , she would probably been trapped in the past like my poor Amy winehouse , mercy on her soul .
Girls ...don't chase pavements , made up your mind , be stronger , and move on when u feel that you are not appreciated by the person you love .





You dont need to be the final option on his list , you dont need to feel like a burden , you dont need him to make you feel like you are lucky to be with him ! You are much more than that , you are not the last choice , you are not in the final position , after his family , studies , work , super car , friends , objectives ...If you are not the first a,d the most importantthing in his life leaaaaaave !
Dont wait for him to change cause after getting that job he wants , he will ask for another one , and after the other one , he will spend all his money on his favourite activities ( sport music project studies ..) and after that it will be travel plans , and after that he will find others things , you gonna always stay in the back of his "wish list" ! If you are not the one and only ...leaaaaaaaaaave ! If materialistic things are more importing for him from being with you leaaaaaaaaave ! If he cares for other persons more than you leaaaaaaave !If he breaks up with you for months then try to have you back when he is bored leaaaaaaaave ! This are some signals to leave... dont be blind , dont ignore them , dont live that kind of " destructive love " you are much better than that.
Baby just leave , God has his mysterious way , he will take care of everything , he will take care of people who hurt you , who make you feel inferior , who make you feel that you dont worth it , who make you feel that you are the last , dont ever stop your faith he will lead you ! If you feel uncomfortable , in pain all the time LEAVE.leave for tha sake of your sanity , leave for the sake of people that supports you all the time , leave to be a better person for you and for those who really loves you . Love yourself and LEAVE .

The healing process , Acceptance or Denial ?

Did you ever met someone , loved him so much , that couldnt understand the meaning of your life without him ?

May be at the begining you try everything to get him back , cause women are more tied to relationships than men .Men can be secretive and so closed . Men tries to prove their strenght , in general , they took much more time , to call back or to find a way to make up . Girls just whine and cry , and curse , promising that she will never talk to her ex ever again, but the very next minute , she calls him . girls are really weird .

Sometimes we meet someone and we just know: it's love.

However, it isn't always easy to see the wonderful qualities in people right there in front of us. They may need a little push to realize that maybe they love you too. Remember that there is no way to make someone fall in love with you and that you wouldn't want a love that was forced anyway. so for those guys of "love from one side" , you are much better than that , you need to love yourself before waiting others to love you , and i dont think that a human being that loves himself gonna accept so much pain in silence .

lets imagine that two people who were so much inlove broke up , the way that people deal with the break up differs from a person to another . the commun example is that girls cry and fell pain for two weeks or 3 months , listening to sad song , talking to their best friends about how it possibly gets wrong , again and again and again until everyone is fed up with the same story ! yes very annoying !

guys have this way of moving on the next day , partying , going out with friends , starting to go to the gym , i mean they wanna prove that they are macho's and a girl isnt the end of the world ! but lets get to the funny part : after those 3 months of wining , girls start to go out in real dates and they might find intersting guys ! Men ,after 3 good months ,they start to remember everything good in their ex's , and yes they feel pain too , and they get really upset when they found out that she is with another guy " that bitch is sooo fast , i was right to dump her"

well , if you dont treat your woman right , there is always someone else willing to do it in your place .

to sum up , the girl attitude after a break up is like "just give me a reason" pink's song .

How the guy was a scammer , cheater , liar and leads her to believe that he loves her and want her,  smtg like the song first verse :
Right from the start

You were a thief you stole my heart

And I your willing victim

I let you see the parts of me

That weren't all that pretty

And with every touch you fixed them

Now you've been talking in your sleep

Things you never say to me

Tell me that you've had enough

Of our love, our love


Men have this other song , to explain their attitude the first week of the break up ,denial makes way to a rush of emotion ,like they are telling their friends and themeselves : there is no need to feel bad , like R.E.M song "the one i love" no lyrics just emotions that needs to fade away :

This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I've left behind
A simple prop to occupy my time
This one goes out to the one I love
Fire (she's comin' down on her own, now)

Then , after a while few days or months , the guy nostalgic mood makes him look for news , the surprise is when he found out that his girl is with someone else #deepshit . He is angry and upset , but he cant do anything , guys are not like girls , they wont ask you back if you are belonging to someone else  #the brocode  ... for further explanations listen to Bruno Mars song "when i was your man" , and it goes like this :

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like uh, uh, uh, uh

Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

At the end , healing process is different from one person to another , it depends on different factors : level of love , level of emotions , personality , the story of the couple ...some can forget and move on , and choose to be with other persons , some find it difficult to just forget , so they just deny the whole thing , and learn to live with the sorrow , day by day . 


Realizing that someone who once loved you loves you no longer is like getting the measles: go through it when you're young, and you'll probably get a mild case.

If it happens for the first time when you're older, it can be devastating.

It can be fatal.

Imagine that he's the first one you ever fell for; he might not have been the first one to kiss you, but his was the first kiss to matter. You can still taste it. You remember the shock, and the softness, and the lingering of his mouth on yours. It was the first time you ever thought: "I want to keep this. This is mine."

He loves you. You can hardly believe it. He sends you little notes where he writes your name over and over again. He calls you first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Words, rolling dark as waves at midnight, wash over you; his voice is heavy and slow as he tells you that you alone understand, that you are the only one.

You can't believe it. You try to resist, not having been born yesterday, but it takes all of an instant for you to be swept off your feet. Swept off your feet, you lose all control over where you're going. Not that it matters. The undertow pulls out the ground away and you drown. Willingly, entirely, without a last gasp or a hand raised to save yourself, you drown.

You go forward. You must. Even if you don't know where you are headed.

Like emerging from out of a bottomless sea or waking from a long illness, nothing is the same. Landmarks are different. You orient yourself along new lines. Maps or medicines, proffered by kind hands, might not be useful but you know they are important.

You accept them with thanks, and understand that such gestures matter.

Things start to matter. They always did. Now you remember.

Now you know you knew it all along.

just try to find your pain , life is short , you need to smile as much you cry ! find reasons to be happy , cause you deserve it .

Days won't erase your memory

1. Day One: Vigil


[Best Friend] Did he open up his eyes?
Did he try to touch my hand
Or is my mind playing tricks on me...

Do you think he hears us cry?
Does he understand
We are here by his side

[Wife] Why are you so concerned?
Do you really care
Or do you feel responsible?

Now the tide has turned
Won't you try to clear the air?
Let your conscience be your guide...



2. Day Two: Isolation


[Me] I can't move, I can't feel my body
I don't remember anything
What place is this...how did I get here?
I don't understand, what's happening...

Am I alone?

[Fear] You've been deserted, everyone has left you
You know it's always been that way
Those frantic years, the people you've neglected
Now the time has come to pay

You're alone
No one here is dancing to your tune

[Me] Is this a dream or is it real?
[Reason] Sometimes the dream becomes reality
[Me] But I don't know what to feel
[Reason] Then I will guide you through this haze
[Me] But who are you, why are you here?
[Reason] I am you and you are all of us
[Me] I can't think, my mind ain't clear
[Reason] Then I will free you from this maze

[Passion] Can't you feel it burn
Deep down inside?
Won't you ever learn
Don't try to hide

Can't you feel that fire?
Scorching your soul?
A wounded man's desire
Out of control

[Pride] I can't believe you're giving up
That's not your way
I can't believe you'd pass the chance to make them pay

You've always had complete control
Never thinking twice
You always called the shots, a heart as cold as ice

[Me] You're delusions of my mind
[Reason] And so we are, we're all a part of you
[Me] Am I a part of some design?
[Reason] The one design is in your head
[Me] How can it be you look so real...
[Reason] We are as real as you imagine us
[Me] I can touch you, I can feel...
[Reason] Then take my hand and follow me

[Passion] Can't you feel it burn
Deep down inside?
Won't you ever learn
Don't try to hide

Can't you feel that fire?
Scorching your soul?
A wounded man's desire
Out of control

[Pride] I can't believe you're giving up
That's not your way
I can't believe you'd pass the chance to make them pay

You've always had complete control
Never thinking twice
You always called the shots, a heart as cold as ice

[Love] Close your eyes, listen to your heart beat
Surrender to its soothing pulse
Silence the cries, gentle and carefree
Good or bad, true or false...

You're not alone

You'll find me here whenever they oppose you
I am the strongest of them all
No need to fear these feelings that enclose you
I'm here to catch you when you fall

You're not alone
I am here dancing to your tune

[Passion] Can't you feel it burn
Deep down inside?
Won't you ever learn
Don't try to hide

Can't you feel that fire?
Scorching your soul?
A wounded man's desire
Out of control

[Pride] I can't believe you're giving up
That's not your way
I can't believe you'd pass the chance to make them pay

You've always had complete control
Never thinking twice
You always called the shots, a heart as cold as ice



3. Day Three: Pain


[Agony] I am pain
I am real. I'm not a dream
I'm the chain around your neck as you scream

Surrender now
You can't beat death at his ruthless game
Make your bow
Hang your head in shame

[Me] I can't believe there is no way out...
[Agony] You'll find you are wrong
[Me] You fill me with doubt...
[Agony] You were never that strong

[Agony] I am pain
I am the wound that never heals
It's all in vain
No compromise, no deals...

[Me] I can't believe this is the end
[Agony] It's written in stone
[Me] Where are my friends?
[Agony] You have always been alone!

[Rage] (Pain!) We lead
We hide as the pain leaves the rage inside
(Motion personified alpha)
Being here, welcomed by...a sane mind
A travelled lie

[Agony] I am pain
I am the end, I am your wraith
Nothing remains
I'm the loss of hope and faith

[Me] I can't believe there is no way out...
[Agony] You'll I find you are wrong
[Me] You fill me with doubt...
[Agony] You were never that strong

[Rage] We lead, we hide as the pain leaves the rage inside
(Motion personified alpha)
Being here, welcomed by...a sane mind
A travelled lie
All the time, I had waited with rage
All the time, I was promised my salvation

[Love] I can't accept this, we will find a way
Out of this cesspool of doom and dismay
Beyond this dejection there's beauty and grace
A glorious future we long to embrace

[Rage] (Pain!) All the time, I have waited with rage
(Motion personified alpha)
All the time, I was promised my salvation



4. Day Four: Mystery


[Best Friend] No, I can't seem to figure out what happened
On the brightest hour of day, no car in sight
No, I can't seem to accept these strange conditions
No matter what they say, it doesn't feel right

[Wife] Do you think he's seen it?
[Best Friend] I don't think he did
[Wife] Do you think he knows it?
[Best Friend] I don't think he knows
[Wife] Do you think he's been there?
[Best Friend] I don't think he was
[Wife] Do you think he'll die?
[Best Friend] I don't think he will

[Wife] No, could it have been a moment of distraction?
A creature on the road, a plane in the air...

[Best Friend] Do you think he's seen it?
[Wife] I don't think he did
[Best Friend] Do you think he knows it?
[Wife] I don't think he knows
[Best Friend] Do you think he's been there?
[Wife] I don't think he was
[Best Friend] Do you think he'll die?
[Wife] I don't think he will

[Wife and Best Friend] No, will we ever understand what happened
Will the mystery be unveiled, or die with him?

[Best Friend] Do you think he's seen it?
[Wife] I don't think he did
[Best Friend] Do you think he knows it?
[Wife] I don't think he knows
[Best Friend] Do you think he's been there?
[Wife] I don't think he was
[Best Friend] Do you think he'll die?
[Wife] I don't think he will

[Passion] Do you think you've seen it?
[Me] I don't think I did
[Pride] Do you think you know it?
[Me] I don't think I know
[Love] Do you think you've been there?
[Me] I don't think I was
[Agony] Do you think you'll die?
[Me] I don't know!



5. Day Five: Voices


[Pride] I hear voices, they are talking about you
Can you hear them, do you know what they mean?
Try to remember, what have you been through?
What do you know and what have you seen?

I can read the thoughts they're conveying
So intense, can you feel them too?
I can't believe it's true what they're saying
You're far too strong, it couldn't happen to you

[Me] But what if there's truth in the words that they speak?
What do they signify?
[Pride] You worry too much
[Me] And what are the questions to answers I seek
What will they clarify?
[Pride] Yeah, you're losing your touch
[Me] Help me out, this means nothing to me...

[Reason] Who are these voices, where do they come from?
Should we try to understand?
Mere illusions, hallucinations?
They might be vital, to our plan

[Love] They sound familiar, they must be here to help you
All this confusion's tearing you apart
You must be patient, time is the healer
Open up and let them in your heart

[Fear] Their guilty sighs
I think you understand it all
You were afraid to live, now you're afraid to die...

You fool yourself
You rose so high, you were bound to fall
Longing for the truth, you lived a lie...

[Reason] I am convinced now, they are essential
They must be our way out of here

[Love] Listen and learn, let your heart lead you
And you will find the solution's near

[Fear] Their guilty signs
I think you understand it all
Longing for the truth, you lived a lie...

[Pride] If they are right, we'll fight for survival
Look to the future, but learn from the past
Confront the danger; face up to your rival
Take a deep breath, we have to move fast

[Me] I think there is truth in the words that they speak
What do they signify?
[Pride] You worry way too much
[Me] I will find the answers to questions I seek
What will they clarify?
[Pride] You're losing your touch
[Me] Help me out, this means nothing to me...



6. Day Six: Childhood

[Agony] You're alone in your bedroom
Hiding from the world, staring at the ceiling

[Me] Mother said 'he'll be home soon'
But he never was, and I knew how she was feeling

[Fear] You always let him down; 'you'd never be like him'
He'd always break you, never let you win
No matter what you said, he'd always disagree
You swore that one day you would be
better than him...one day you'd win

[Agony] You're hiding out in the cellar
Aching and ashamed, covering up the bruises

[Me] And then he would tell her
How I tripped and hurt my head, how I'd always be a loser

[Fear] You always let him down; 'you'd never be like him'
He'd always break you, never let you win
No matter what you said, he'd always disagree
You swore that one day you would be
better than him...one day you'd win

[Agony] You're all alone in your bedroom
How could you learn to care, when nobody cares for you

[Me] Mother said he'd be home soon
But he never came, as for me...he didn't have to...



7. Day Seven: Hope


[Best Friend] Let me take you back
To the time when we were chasing all the girls
Two maniacs
Indulging in the pleasures of this world

So much to see, so much to live for
Questions to answer, places to go
So much to be, so much to care for
Deep down inside I think you know
You are free...come back to me!

Look ahead and see
There are still so many borders we could cross
Just you and me
Making up for all the time that we have lost

[Best Friend] So much to see
[Me] He may be right
[Best Friend] so much to live for
[Me] I've got to fight
[Best Friend] Questions to answer
[Me] I will pull through
[Best Friend] places to go
[Me] take me with you
[Best Friend] So much to be
[Me] I will not break
[Best Friend] so much to care for
[Me] I must awake
[Best Friend] Deep down inside I think you know
[Me] I think I know
[Best Friend] You are free
[Me] I am free
[Best Friend] Come back to me!

[Best Friend] Aaaah, aaaah come back to me
[Me] There's no way out, my whole world is black!
[Best Friend] Aaaah, aaaah come back to me
[Me] I try to shout, something's holding me back!



8. Day Eight: School


[Fear] It's time to leave your sheltered cage
Face you deepest fears
The world is against you
You're fighting back the tears

[Me] All the kids were watching me
I felt very small
I could hear the laughter
As I stumbled down the hall

[Rage] (human) Seeking to find
deep in the trauma as it leaves you behind
(human) Bleeding it gone
into the profit of the competition
(human) Loving today,
all of the feelings are they going away
(human) Ending it now,
I'd rather hear about the where and the how

[Agony] The bigger boys they beat you up
Out here you cannot hide
No friends to help you
No father at your side

[Me] I swore that I'd get back at them
But I was just a kid
One day I'd show them
I wouldn't rest until I did

[Rage] (human) Seeking to find
deep in the trauma as it leaves you behind
(human) Bleeding it gone
into the profit of the competition
(human) Loving today,
all of the feelings are they going away
(human) Ending it now,
I'd rather hear about the where and the how

[Pride] You've got to prove you are not like the rest
[Reason] There's no need if you know you're the best
[Pride] That's not enough, let the other kids know
[Reason] What's the use, go with the flow

[Pride] Be a man, give into hate
[Reason] You better learn to communicate
[Pride] Better to learn to protect yourself
[Reason] That's not the way to get out of this hell

[Pride] See that kid, wipe the smile off his face
[Reason] He's just like you, feeling out of place
[Pride] Well I don't care, let's show him who's boss
[Reason] That's not the way to get your message across

[Pride] Be a man, give into hate
[Reason] You better learn to communicate
[Pride] Better to learn to protect yourself
[Reason] That's not the way to get out of this hell

[Passion] Don't rack your brain, let it all go
Savour the moment and feel your blood flow

[Me] Then I got back at them
Still acting like a kid
Then I showed them
But when I had I could not quit...

[Rage] (human) Seeking to find
deep in the trauma as it leaves you behind
(human) Bleeding it gone into the
profit of the competition
(human) Loving today,
all of the feelings are they going away
(human) Ending it now,
I'd rather hear about the where and the how



9. Day Nine: Playground


[Instrumental]



10. Day Ten: Memories


[Best Friend] It's been 10 days
It shouldn't last this long
The doctor's mystified
Nothing's physically wrong...

[Wife] But maybe in his head
He's struggling to survive
Would it help if we talk to him?
Bring him back to life...

[Best Friend and Pride] Do you remember that time
We were showing off our brand new flashy bikes
[Wife and Love] You looked so fine
Until you both fell over and then started to cry!
[Best Friend and Pride] Do you recall that day
Fearlessly we climbed the highest tower
[Wife and Love] Then you became afraid
Too scared to climb down you stayed up there for hours!
[Best Friend and Pride] Do you remember that time?
[Wife and Love] Do you recall that day?

[Wife and Love] Do remember that time
Alone at last, naked by the fire
[Best Friend and Pride] Then all your friends came by,
They rushed in the room and you had no time to hide
[Wife and Love] Do you recall that day,
You proposed to me, and fell down to your knee
[Best Friend and Pride] You didn't know what to say,
So she knelt down to for she thought you'd lost your keys!
[Wife and Love] Do you remember that time?
[Best Friend and Pride] Do you recall that day?

[Passion] Can you see her light
Shining through the black
She's reaching out to you
What's holding you back?

[Reason] Can you feel her warmth
Glowing on your skin
Don't repress the memories
Let them all in...



11. Day Eleven: Love


[Me] Friday night, I had a few
There she was, out of the blue
Thunderstruck, nailed to the floor
I couldn't move, couldn't talk...anymore

[Love] Of all these guys it's you she desires
Secretly her heart is on fire
Waiting for you to ask her to dance
Go ahead, make your move...now's your chance

[Passion] Do it right, do it right, we ain't got all night
Do it now, do it now, I think you know how
[Pride] Let it out, let it out, now don't mess about
Let her in, let her in, let the party begin!

[Me] There I was, nervous and shy
Struck with awe as I caught her eye
I mustered up courage and walked her way
Figuring out what to do...what to say

[Love] Her heart sings as she sees you come near
The music fades, the crowd disappears
She weeps in silence as you pass her by
And she's wondering why...oh why

[Passion] Do it right, do it right, we ain't got all night
Do it now, do it now, I think you know how
[Pride] Let it out, let it out, now don't mess about
Let her in, let her in, let the party begin!

[Agony] Remember your father, well you're just like him
Nothing but violence and fury within
Remember your mother, so lonely and sad
This will be her fate if you treat her as bad

[Fear] You're afraid she might turn you down
All your hopes dashed to the ground
Nobody loved you, nobody will
Why should you even try...but still...

[Me] Friday night, I had a few
[Wife] There was no need to talk
[Me] There she was, out of the blue
[Wife] We just started to walk
[Me] Hand in hand, we took the floor
[Wife] And we danced, and we danced, and we danced
[Me] I could move, I could talk...even more...

[Passion] Do it right, do it right, we ain't got all night
Do it now, do it now, I think you know how
[Pride] Let it out, let it out, now don't mess about
Let her in, let her in, let the party begin!

[Agony] Remember your father, well you're just like him
Nothing but violence and fury within
Remember your mother, so lonely and sad
This will be her fate if you treat her as bad

[Passion] Do it right, do it right, we ain't got all night
Do it now, do it now, I think you know how
[Pride] Let it out, let it out, now don't mess about
Let her in, let her in, let the party begin!

[Agony] Remember your father, well you're just like him
Nothing but violence and fury within
Remember your mother, so lonely and sad
This will be her fate if you treat her as bad

[Passion] Do it right, do it right, we ain't got all night
Do it now, do it now, I think you know how
[Pride] Let it out, let it out, now don't mess about
Let her in, let her in, let the party begin!



12. Day Twelve: Trauma


[Reason]
Think hard, you are lying here in a hospital bed
Disregard the emotions inside your head
Concentrate on the real world beyond your mind
It's not to late to leave your burdens behind

[Fear] We won't let you go
Take you down below
Dark crypts of your soul
Locked inside your head...
You're better of dead

[Agony] Locked away, she lives in isolation
It's been that way, since he has gone
She been through life of deprivation
She depends on you, her only son

[Passion] She won't let you go
Keep you down below
Dark crypts of your soul
Locked inside your head
You're better of dead

[Agony] Where are you, can't you hear her calling?
Nothing you can do, you have no time
There is no one there, to catch her now she's falling
Why should you care, you are doing fine

[Passion] She won't let you go
Keep you down below
Dark crypts of your soul
Locked inside your head
You're better of dead

[Reason] Now she's at rest, she finally found her peace
There's no need to blame yourself
You must let go, or the pain will never cease
It's time to crawl out of your shell

Your mother died, the day your father left
A part of you died as well
Feelings of guilt will haunt you 'til the end
You must fight hard to break this spell

But it hurts...

[Fear] You hear her voice, from beyond her grave
"Where were you son, when I needed you
Is this your thanks for all the warmth I gave
Did you forget what I been through?"

Then you hear his voice, cold and merciless
"You're worthless fool, you let her die!"
And deep within yourself, you must confess
Your ways cannot be justified

[Pride] By now you realize, you have to be
relentless to survive
Repress your memories,
bury all emotions and thrive!
It's your life!

[Reason] Now she's at rest, she found her peace
[Fear] You hear her voice, from the grave
[Reason] You must let go or the pain won't cease
[Fear] "Is this your thanks for all I gave"
[Reason] A part of you died as well
[Fear] "You worthless fool, you let her die"
[Reason] It's time to crawl out of your shell
[Fear] Your ways cannot be justified

[Pride] By now you realized, you have to be
relentless to survive
Repress your memories,
bury all emotions and thrive!
It's your life!



13. Day Thirteen: Sign


[Love] Fate has come to warn
That you far to long forsaken her heart

Move to the truth
Breath the sunlight burning in her open arms

Break the chains that
Bind you to a past that feeds this bitter days

Seize your only chance
Follow the stars that beckon you through blackened skies

[Wife] Can you feel me touch your aching heart
I can sense how much you're missing me...

Give me a sign, show me you're there
I am sure you'll find a way back to me

[Me] I can't believe I turned so vile
How could I've ignored her smile?
She was always there to easy my pain
I'm so ashamed

I wonder why she stayed with me
How she endured my vanity
I wish I could go back and mend my ways
Is it too late?

[Wife] Can you see, I swear it's true, a teardrop trickling down his cheek?
[Best Friend] Yes, indeed, I see it too, could it be he's hurting inside?
[Wife] Don't you think we should be glad he feels anything at all?
[Best Friend] It could well be he cries because of us
[Wife] Does it matter why he cries?
[Best Friend] What's going on in his mind?
[Wife] Has he's given us a sign?

[Wife] Can you see, I swear it's true, him clenching his right hand into a fist?
[Best Friend] Yes, indeed, I see it too, could it be he's raging inside?
[Wife] Don't you think we should be glad he has any thoughts at all?
[Best Friend] It could well be he angry 'cause of us
[Wife] Does it matter if he is?
[Best Friend] What's going on in his mind?
[Wife] Has he's given us a sign?



14. Day Fourteen: Pride


[Me] I have always been creative, I don't understand
Aspired to be an artist, not a business man
[Pride] You need to show your old man you're in control
To be successful, you'd sell your own soul!
(you'd sell your own soul!)

[Me] I've always been respectable, I don't understand
I tried to be compassionate, I'm not a ruthless man!
[Pride] You need to show them you're superior, you lead the field
No one opposes you, all man must yield!
(all man must yield!)

[Me] I've always been affectionate, I don't understand
I really love her, I'm not a heartless man!
[Pride] You have no time for commitments, they get in the way
Get down to business, there's no time to play!

[Reason] You can still change, and right what is wrong
[Pride] But can you swallow me, or am I too strong?
[Reason] You have to get back now, it's not too late
[Pride] It's not like you two resign to your fate
[Reason] Your loved ones are waiting, break out of you cage
[Pride] You have the power, give in to your rage
[Reason] Listen to Pride now, for once he is right
[Pride] Listen to Reason, let us be your guide



15. Day Fifteen: Betrayal


[Fear] This is what you dreamt about
Director of the firm
Will it be you, or your best friend?
He's always been the better man and
He fits all their terms
What will you do to gain your end...

[Agony] You remember he once told you
He tampered with the books
When he lost out on the deal
You're digging up the evidence
...no one looks
You leave it there for all to see

[Reason] This memory burns inside
You can't forget, you cannot fight or erase it
[Passion] Let it go, try to unwind
[Reason] You'll have to tell and set it right
You cannot run, you cannot hide, so face it!
[Passion] Wake up, free your mind

[Fear] You'll never talk, he'll never know
What you have done
But can you live with this betrayal?

[Agony] They found him out and let him go
I guess you've won
But one day, the truth might be unveiled

[Reason] This memory burns inside
You can't forget, you cannot fight or erase it
[Passion] Let it go, try to unwind
[Reason] You'll have to tell and set it right
You cannot run, you cannot hide, so face it!
[Passion] Wake up, free your mind

[Reason] This memory burns inside
You can't forget, you cannot fight or erase it
[Passion] Let it go, try to unwind
[Reason] You'll have to tell and set it right
You cannot run, you cannot hide, so face it!
[Passion] Wake up, free your mind

[Me] I have to talk and let him know
What I have done
I cannot live with this betrayal
He's always been the better man
I never won
Now the truth must be unveiled



16. Day Sixteen: Loser


[Father] Look at you, lying there, defenceless and alone
See I am no fool, I always knew you wouldn't make it on your own

Cos you're just like your mother, well, where is she now?
You'll end up like her soon, 6 feet under ground, loser!

I came here to watch you bleed, oh how I love to gloat
If you had any balls at all, you'd grab me by the throat
You don't even look like me, ha! Not even close!
You're an aberration, some freak...I suppose, loser!

I had my fun, I'm going back to the place I don't call home
There's no one there who waits for me, but you won't hear me moan
My ex-wives all sue me, and with half my kids in jail
I'll still come out laughing, cause me? I never fail, loser!

[Rage] NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!
You're killing it from afar, go tell it in a bar
You're killing it from afar my father!



17. Day Seventeen: Accident?


[Reason] You're driving home, It's one PM
You cannot function, you're a broken man
Your past is catching up with you
Only her tenderness can help you through

you see her smile, at another man

[Wife] Did you see me smile at another man?
It was only us, please understand...

[Reason]
You see him hold her, in his arms

[Wife] Did you see him hold me in his arms?
We needed warmth, we meant no harm...

[Agony] Love left you, without me you're all alone!

[Reason] Tears of sorrow fill your eyes
Your cold and wretched life flashes by
Is that your father standing there?
You turn the wheel, you no longer care...

You saw her smile at another man

[Wife] Did you see me smile at another man?
It was only us, please understand...

[Reason] You saw him hold her, in his arms

[Wife] Did you see him hold me in his arms?
We needed warmth, we meant no harm...

[Agony] Love left you, without me you're all alone!
Love wrecked you!

[Passion] You saw her smile at another man
Now you finally understand
He held her in his arms
You've nothing left, it's gone too far...

[Agony] Your memory begins to clear
Now you see what brought you here
You try to open up your eyes
But the doubts leave you paralyzed

[Wife] I smiled at another man
Please understand...
He held me in his arms
We meant no harm...

[Agony] Love left you, without me you're all alone!
Love wrecked you, I am the oldest friend you known!



18. Day Eighteen: Realization


[Reason] Now you know the truth, what will you do?
[Me] I still can't believe it's true...
[Passion] You better believe it, and make them pay!
[Me] There has to be another way...

[Pride] You cannot take this lying down!
[Me] I gotta stand up, can you show me how?
[Love] You must forgive them and open your heart
[Me] It's all my fault, it tears me apart!

[Agony] It would have been better if you would have just died!
[Me] No, I've got to win this fight!
[Fear] But can you face them after all you did?
[Me] I gotta reveal the feelings I hid

[Best Friend] See him fight, he's all on his own...
[Me] I need your help, can't do it alone!
[Wife] Listen to me, can you hear me shout?
[Me] Let me out!



19. Day Nineteen: Disclosure


[Best Friend] My good friend, I hope you hear my voice
I must alleviate this ache
I've thought about this and found I have no choice
I have to tell you this for conscience sake

I felt alone, forsaken and afraid
Out of work and out of love
I needed someone to ease some of the pain
And she was there for me when times were rough

[Wife] My sweet love, my heart belongs to you
But I was lonely and the need for passion grew
You were never here, and even when you were
Most of my words would go unheard
[Best Friend] I'd be there to comfort her
[Wife] We'd share our distress
[Best Friend] But we were never in love
[Wife] Can you forgive us?

[Best Friend] My good friend, well maybe I am wrong
I think you saw us on that day
I want you to know, she loved you all along
I hope that this will help you in some way

[Wife] My sweet love, my heart belongs to you
But I was lonely and the need for passion grew
You were never here, and even when you were
Most of my words would go unheard
[Best Friend] I'd be there to comfort her
[Wife] We'd share our distress
[Best Friend] But we were never in love
[Wife] Can you forgive us?

[Love] Don't be afraid, her heart belongs to you
[Passion] Don't be afraid, don't keep her waiting
[Love] It's time to rise, and tell them what you feel
[Passion] You have to let them know
[Love] Here the dream ends, this is real

[Me] I'll be there to comfort her
[Passion] I know you will be!
[Me] I'll come back to life
[Love] I know that you can!



20. Day Twenty: Confrontation


[Best Friend] See his mouth, he tries to speak
He cannot move, his voice is weak...
[Me] My dear friend can you hear me now?
I'll try to tell you how I feel
[Best Friend] I feel the pain inside of you
Tell me please, what can I do?
[Me] Listen well to what I have to say
I have to tell you...of my betrayal

[Me] I revealed the facts, it was clear
It spelled the end of your career
[Best Friend] Yes, I always felt that it was you
I repressed the thought although I knew the truth
[Me] The truth is out, I feel relieved
You hate me now, you've been deceived?
[Best Friend] Oh no, in a way we are even now
Come back to us...somehow

[Wife and Love] Cross that bridge to the other side
Follow your heart, you can't go wrong
Come with me, I will be your guide
And lead you back where you belong

[Agony] Welcome to reality, be ready for the pain
Welcome to reality, will it be in vain
Welcome to reality,
Nothing much has changed since you were gone

[Passion] Rise up and show the world you can be a better man
Rise up and show the world you care, yes you can
Rise up and show the world you're taking your chance
Rise up and show the world!
[Agony] Welcome back!

[Reason] Welcome to reality, wake up and rejoice
Welcome to reality, you've made the right choice
Welcome to reality, and let them hear your voice, shout it out!

[Pride] Rise up and show the world your battle is won
Rise up and show the world the old you is gone
Rise up and show the world your new life has begun
Rise up and show the world!
[Reason and Agony] Welcome back!

[Fear] Here inside the question burns
Are you sure of your return?
[Me] I am sure I deserve this chance
Now I understand it all
[Fear] It all seems so unreal to you
Can you decide what to do?
[Me] Yes I can, oh I will survive
Look at me...I'm alive

[Wife and Love] Cross that bridge to the other side
Follow your heart, you can't go wrong
Come with me, I will be your guide
And lead you back where you belong

[Best Friend] There is so much to see, there is so much to live for
[Wife] Come with me, my love
[Reason] You feel her warmth, glowing on your skin
[Love] You're never alone, I knew we could make it
[Fear] Aaaaaaaaarrrrgh!
[Passion] Can't you feel that fire, can't you feel it burn?
[Agony] Be ready for the pain, ready for the pain!
[Pride] Well rise up, your battle has been won, your new life has begun
[Me] I'm alive, I won't look back, aaaaah!

The Human Equation program aborted.
Have a nice day.
Dream Sequencer system offline.

Emotions
I remember...